21 days

Somebody told me the the beginning of this journey that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Today is my 21st day of not smoking, and it's true. Smoking is no longer the first thing I think of when I get in my car, when I am stressed, and when I am bored. It no longer consumes my life. Thanks for the guidence Suzy, the first couple of weeks I kept telling myself 21 days, and I'll be ok, and I am. Next goal is 30 days, it'll be here before I know it.

20 days,

Can't believe that it has been 20 days already! Time has flown by. I really am getting used to my new life as a non smoker. I don't reach for a pack when I get into my car, I'm able to go out with Mike for dinner, and go out with my friends, and be just fine. I am even able to sit in a room with other smokers and not want to smoke. That is what happened last night, we were at my friends house and a couple of my other friends smoke, and asked me repediatly if it was alright for them to smoke around me. I kept telling them it was, and they finally did, and I was perfectly fine with it. Could have been the fact that they smoke menthol cigeretts, which I hate, and if I was going to slip up and have one, I wouldn't waste the opportunity on menthol!
Two other exciting happenings in my life.
My friend Gina is getting married in November, and asked me to stand up in her wedding last night! I can't wait and am so competely excited!
And best of all today my wonderful niece, Angelina turns 2! Happy Birthday little munchkin! I can't wait to celebrate with her tonight and again in two weeks at her bowling/puppy party. (no we are not going to bowl with or at puppies)
Oh and as a side note, Mike has quit for 5 days now. See honey I'm mentioning you because I'm proud.

Nineteen Days

Happy Friday everyone! Today is nineteen days that means if I know how to count correctly tomorrow is 20 days. I've got to tell you, I feel better and better every day. I'm in a great mood today, I mean how can I not be it's the third day in a row that the sun is out, and it's going to be all the way up to 25 this weekend, and it's Friday, and it's jeans day at work, I mean the perfect storm of wonderful things!


Seriously though, I have been exceptionally crabby and snappy (read a MAJOR bitch) since quitting, at least at home. I think it takes all of the energy that I have to be pleasant at work, especially days like yesterday, that I have no patience left when I get home. I'm trying to work on it though, any tips appreciated. I try the deep breathing, but that's usually after I snap to calm down. I need to figure out something before I give that icy glare or yell about non-important. As an example I was talking to Mike this morning on my way to the train, and he was telling me his plans for the night, and I interrupted him and yelled "Well I'm going to Target and Toys R Us as soon as I get off of work" in the meanest bitchiest way, and I have no idea why or where it came from, and why I had to just cut him off mid sentence to tell him that. I go from happy to crazy in a spit second, I think quitting smoking has given me Tourette's syndrome!

Day Eighteen, plus my take on the State of the union

Today is day 18 for me and I am proud to say day 3 for Mike, congrats Honey!



I thought that last night was going to difficult to get through after watching President Obama's speech. I was thinking about it all day, and could not wait to watch it. For those of you who don't know I've been watching the State of the Union every year since my junior year in high school. We had this amazing history/poli sci teacher, Mr. Zdun, who made our assignment Jr. year to watch President Bill Clinton give the state of the union and count how many standing O's he received. Now watching him speak was easy, he was charismatic, believable, and the first president that really cared about me and my family. He wasn't some old man who I couldn't identify with, he was roughly my parents age, and his daughter and I are close in age, so I identified with her and through her him.



I have continued to watch every year, even if I didn't support who was in the office, I felt it was important to know where our elected leader (even if I didn't vote for him) said the direction of the country was going, because it affects us all. So I sat through 8 long years of listening to Bush bully his way through congress and the American people.



There are a few point that I would like to touch on from the President's speech, and a few other things that I noticed. I don't want to argue with anyone, but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. If your opinions differ and you would like a friendly debate, please comment, but make sure you are respectful, or your comment will get deleted. I don't expect everyone or anyone to agree with me, but you respect me, I'll respect you.



One other quick note, I have voted in every election, general, primary, and special since I turned 18. The first thing I did on the morning of my 18th birthday was register to vote, and I vote democrat! There are three major ideals that I look for in a candidate: 1. Equal rights for EVERYONE including women and homosexuals. 2. Equal rights to healthcare, affordable coverage for lower or no income families, meaning everyone in the country, no matter what have access to healthcare and will not go broke and lose their house if something happens to them. 3. Women’s right to choose, this is SO important to me. Absolutely no one can tell me what to do with my body.



So now my take on the State of the Union.



The first thing I noticed, and haven't heard anyone comment on was all of the color worn on the left side of the house, and how the right looked like a bunch of Mr. Burns' going to a funeral. I even went as far as when the right stood up when the President talked about nuclear power to imagine them all tapping their fingers together saying sinisterly "excellent".



Things the republicans did not stand up for, so I can only assume they hate: Small business, clean air, college education, healthy middle class and poor people, Haiti, fighting AIDS, lowing the number of nuclear weapons, and immigrant, including the legal ones (I would take this to mean they all think they are Native American)



I can't wait until August to be out of Iraq, and for our men and women in the armed forces to finally come home, although I am not naive I do believe that many of them will end up on Afghanistan or Iran (If you watched last night, you would know that Iran is in trouble)



I liked that he took a stand and said if the jobs bill and healthcare do not meet his standards he will veto them. I would like to see him stick to that.

There was a 4 trillion deficit before he walked in the door from the Bush administration not paying for two wars, he's only added 1 trillion and has a plan to pay that back, so stop blaming him for the deficit.



Thank you Mr. President for calling out the Dems for not taking advantage of their majority in both houses, push though the bills that we believe in! Thank you for asking for partnership and for calling out the Republicans for constantly seeking election and not doing their job. Thank you for talking about all of the silly pundents, they are both on the left and right, but mostly right. They are looking for ratings, and the crazier they get, the better the ratings. Please people if you listen to Fox News all day, put on MSNBC for an hour just to hear the other side. I listen to both sides, and can't help but laugh at them all.



Promised again to eliminate don't ask don't tell, it's about damn time! The military leaders don't look happy about that. I don't understand what the problem with this is, what is the difference if a solider is straight or gay, how does that make the person less able to serve their country, especially in a time of war. Someone wants to go out to the desert and fight and defend our freedom, let them. We allow any religion or color, so why not orientation? Will someone please explain this to me!



I was wondering how he would say it, but after all of this I understand, why we may be going through a hard time and recovering from a great loss the state of our union is still good, even though he didn't say it, but I trust its in good hands.



"We don't quit, I DON'T QUIT"



Thank you President Obama for everything that you have done already and will do for the next 3 for sure, but I hope 7 more years. You will always have my support, even if I don't agree with everything (which you have yet given me something to disagree with)

Seventeen

It's been 17 days, and I feel great! Again that may have something to do with the fact that I caught a brief glimpse of the sun, in what feels like a couple of weeks. Ah... winter in Chicago, nothing like it, so cold, your thankful not to go outside to smoke anymore. I couldn't imagine starting this voyage in the summer when all I want is to get away from my desk and spend a few minutes outside. I have a feeling this summer I'll be getting Lavazza or Dunkin coffee more than Starbucks just so I can have an excuse to go outside. I need to stop thinking about summer and the warmth, because that just makes me even more sad. This has been one of the coldest weeks so far this winter, at least in my opinion. This cold wasn't bothering be as much as the lack of sun has. Besides, it's cold, don't get me wrong; it's not can't breathe, below zero cold. It's a tolerable cold, enough to want to stay inside all day and not get out of bed. I'm just happy that the only time I'm going to be outside is to and from work, not 3 - 5 times to smoke.

Sweet Sixteen

Sixteen days, I think I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Although I am still quite edgy in certain situations. I've noticed that I have a lot less patience than I did before, but I'm trying to work on it. I know that I just need to take my time and slow down and think before I react.

My teeth whitening kit came in yesterday, that's one of my rewards. Now that cigerettes are not staining my teeth I want to make them as white as possible. I went with the Go Smile system (http://www.gosmile.com/) and started it this morning. I'll let you know how it goes.

15 Days!

Made it past the two week mark, this went a lot faster that I thought it would. Every day it get easier as not smoking becomes as much a part of my life as smoking did. Had a great weekend this weekend, but it was my first two day weekend in some time, and really I don't like that at all. Everything went by too fast, from being out with my friends, to spending time with family to Sox Fest with Mike, which by the way was AWESOME! I really had a great time.


Also noticed that I am still pretty on edge and the smallest thing can set me off. Especially with Mike being a little crazy on Chantix. We got into one of the silliest arguments yesterday, I'll spare you the details, but now that I think about it with a clear head I can't help but laugh about both of our reactions. This is totally not normal for us at all, we usually don't fight, ever. I know that this is temporary as we navigate though our new way of living.

Day 14!

As of11:15 tonight, it'll be 2 full weeks that I have not smoked. This is going to be a short post today, since we are on our way to Soxfest! I feel good, and can't wait to go to games this season without missing 2 innings to smoke. Go White Sox!

Lucky 13

Today I feel the most conent about not smoking than I have in days previous, the reason: bit of a hangover. If I felt like this everyday, wouldn't want to smoke ever again. Then again in order to feel like this I would have to feel good enough to go out and drink. Had a great time last night with friends, Mike, and Mike's friends.

When I smoked and went out, obvisouly I smoked a wee bit more than I normally would, the result, or at least what I thought was the result was waking up the next morning with a sore thoat. Last night I went out, didn't smoke and still woke up with a sore throat. Smoking was not the reason, it was due to shouting accross the table in order to have a conversation with friends. The sore throat does not seem to be as bad as it was when I smoked, so I guess that smoking made it worse.

I have been asked from a few people how I have gotten to almost two weeks. I really don't think this is that big of an accomplishment, once I get to a month, I will feel like I have actually done something.  Regardless, they still want to know. The first thing I tell them  is tell everyone and hold yourself accountable, I did this by not just telling my family, close friends, and coworkers, but by announcing to the world via Facebook and Twitter, which actually ended up being an awesome resource and created an awesome support network, more than I ever thought possible.

The other tool that I use is a blog that I found by a guy named Joel at http://www.whyquit.com/. He is completely different and refeshing. He was a stop smoking counselor and ran clinics. You can watch his video's if you'd like, but read his material, it is powerful. He is not like others, he doesn't tell you it's ok if you slip up, instead at the end of all of his articles is "never take another puff". It's tough love, he says that NO it is not ok if you slip up, one puff will very soon bring you back to your old habits, you are an addict, so treat yourself like one.

Here is a little piece from his website, something I read almost daily, I hope this will also help someone else, it comes from http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_04_11_Smokers_Vow.html

"The Smokers Vow"

With this puff I enslave myself to a lifetime of addiction.

While I can’t promise to always love you, I do promise to obey every craving and support my addiction to you no matter how expensive you become.

I will let no husband or wife, no family member or friend, no doctor or any other health professional, no employer or government policy, no burns or no stench, no cough or raspy voice, no cancer or emphysema, no heart attack or stroke, no threat of loss of life or limbs, come between us.

I will smoke you forever from this day forth, for better or worse, whether richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part!

I read this over and over everyday. Along with "My cigarette, my friend" http://whyquit.com/whyquit/joelcigfriend.html
It's pretty powerful and puts things in perspective real quick.

So that is what has helped me. Any former smokers out there, let me know your story.

Day twelve, smokers alley

I'm onto day twelve. The hardest part continues to be walking to and from work. You see I take the blue line and get off at Washington and work on LaSalle. The quickest way to get to my building is to cut down a couple of allys, that is also the only place that people downtown can smoke since the smokingn ban laws. So I walk past about 20-50 smokers each way in a two block strech. I am tempted each and every day to ask someone for one. Now the simple and obvious solution would be to just simply not walk through the ally. Going around would, however, add another two blocks to my walk, and while I could use the extra exercise, it's Chicago, and it's Janurary, it's just too damn cold to do that! So I will continue to cut through smokers alley, and fight the tempentation. It builds character, right?

Day Eleven

Wow, I can't belive that 10 full days went by this fast. I am already getting used to my new life. Getting to work was a bit easier this morning, no reaching in the purse, no wrong turns. I did have to get gas and the guy at my station brought me a pack, and I had to tell him no and I'm quitting, so just need gas this morning. Which struck up a conversation while he was pumping my gas, which was a nice way to start the day. I usually don't like talking to people first thing in the morning, but didn't mind too much today. The one thing that did bother me was the girl in the seat in front of me on the El had REALLY long hair and kept putting it over her seat and it was all lover my newspaper. I was SO tempted to pull it or tell her to move her hair, because it's disgusting, but I kept my mouth shut, and just kept swatting at her when I turned the pages. I know passive/agressive, but it was really gross.

10 Days

I've made it to the double digit in days! I don't know what it is, but getting to work seems to be the hardest part. I am ok with driving any other time, but this morning I got to my car started it and reached in my purse for a cigerette without even thinking, it took me a few seconds to realize that I don't have any and won't have any anymore. I guess it's just too early to really think clearly and rely on my old habits too much. After all i have been smoking since before I started full time in the real world, so it will be a hard habit to break, but not as hard as the first week of quitting was.

Day Nine

Made it to day nine. Today is my first day back to work since last Tuesday. Getting back into a routine is not that easy. Driving to the train seems crazily difficult today. First there was a kitten that darted under my car as soon as the light I was at turned green, so I had to wait, while people were beeping at me to go until I saw the cat was safely out from under my vehicle. Then I almost turned onto the wrong street, and barely made it to the train before the doors closed. Didn't get my normal seat, basically my day has just started off completely well... off. I need to get back to a routine, and alter it enough so that I don't think about smoking. Having the time away for my first week really helped in breaking routine, but now it's time to get back.

Day 8
Made it past and through the one week mark! The journey is not over yet, it will be when I am able to get through a full day without thinking about smoking. A wise person (Suzy) told me that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, so if that's true, I'm a third of the way there!

It's been one week!

What a difference a week makes, it has officially been one week since I last smoked! I made it, and now I jst have to keep going with my new life. I think the hard part is over. I have gone out drinking with friends, I went out to dinner with Mike, I've done it all, and didn't smoke. One last test before going back to work, is going shopping and driving in the car with my parents tomorrow, if I can do that I can do anything. I still want to smoke I just consistantly make the decision not to. Again, thank you everyone for the support, I would not have made it this far without all of you.

Day 7

Made it through to day 7, if I can make it until 11:15 tonight, then I will have made it one week without smoking. I am feeling a lot better every day that goes by. It's still hard, I miss it most while driving. Thankfully during the week I'm not in my car too long, just to and from the train. This weekend I put on a few miles, but the gum and holding something in my hand and talking on the phone seem to at least take my mind off of it.

keep going

I made it through day six, if I can make it another 23 hours I will be one week smoke free, and can't wait. I already celebrating by buying an awesome pair of shoes!
Had a great night out with Mike tonight celebrating our 6 year anniversary, and the first incrediable dinner that was topped off with dessert and Bailys instead of a cigerette, and boy did it feel good. I am enjoying my new life, just can't wait until I have a day where I don't think about smoking at all, will that day ever come?

Day Six

Welcome to day 6, almost one week. Met up with an old friend last night and caught up on 10 lost years, it was a great time! One of my Awesome cousins met us out for a while, we had a really good time. After a couple of drinks I really wanted to smoke when we were leaving, but I worked my way through it, chewed some gum and eventully moved on. Tonight Mike and I are going out for our anniversary dinner, can't wait to see how I enjoy a great, expensive, fancy meal without smoking. Tomorrow will be one week!

Day five

Day five and I'm feeling great! Haven't even had any gum yet today. Feel like I'm on my way to a new life. I don't have much else to say other than HAPPY FRIDAY! I am about to begin my first weekend smoke free, let's see how that goes.

4 days down

A full four days has finally passed, and although last night and this morning were probably the toughest, I have been feeling great since about 9am. I am finally feeling relaxed, and more like myself. Strange change tonight though, Mike and I were watching 30 Rock, and I laughed, and my laugh was different. Not quite as naselly annoying loud, but quieter and somewhat creepier. I really need to work on that, it cannot be my new laugh!

Breathe in, Breathe out, move on

Day four is going WAY better than I was feeling this morning. I guess mornings are going to be the hardest part, for now. Had to take some tynol PM to fall asleep last night, the physical withdrawel should almost be over, I guess it's just mind over matter now. So many changes already, I never realized all the great and horrible smells I've been missing, it's so acute! Taste is also starting to be more sensitive, I was to get something really spicy and see if I can still handle it. It's a whole new world out there and I'm ready for it!

I thought this was supposed to get easier after the first 3 days. I had a very hard time getting to sleep last night, but I got up, got ready and finally popped a piece of gum. Eating breakfast now, I will make it through today!

72 hours (I get by with (more) than a little help from my friends)

Ok, made it past the 72 hour mark, and boy this was the hardest day so far. I almost completely broke down and bought a pack, walked into Walgreens ready to buy one, and at the last second decided to get nicotine gum instead. I have been given so much support from SO many wonderful people, I couldn't let everyone down. Really mom, dad, Mike, Chris, Nic, Angelina, Loretta, Fran, Mariko, Aunt Karen, Donna, Anthony, Tom, Lisa, Nicole, Aunti Di, Grace, Dave, Jim Suzy, Vince, Catherine, Kathleen, Tony, Marando, Betsey, Derek, Angela, Marlene, Gina, Sal, Tracy, Susan, and so many more. I have to thank you guys SO SO much for the support, I couldn't have gotten through today without all of you, it really does mean the world to me.

Broke down (almost)

 I finally could not take it anymore and REALLY wanted to smoke today, so instead I went and bought the nicotine gum. I have not chewed any yet, afraid of having to go through the withdrawel process all over again. Not sure what I should do now, but at least I didn't smoke right?

Day 3

The cravings and withdrawal are supposed to be gone in 72 hours right? If not I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin, but I know that it's going to get better. I'm off my normal routine today, going for some training, so my mind will be busy with that, hopefully.

48 hours

I'm through with my first 48 hours, and according to Mike, my boyfriend, I am a "cranky pants".  I need to thank him for understanding and not getting mad when I snap on him. He has been a great support to me, and I just hope that he joins me and completely stops himself. He's on his second week of Chantix and has cut his smoking in half, which is good, so hopefully by next week we will both be smoke free.
I couldn't have gotten this far without all of the support from my parents, and my family, and friends, and most of all my Facebook and Twitter friends who every time I feel a real urge to smoke, someone magically knows and gives me a bit of encouragement to keep on going, as well as a lot of tips and their stories. What has worked so far for me is the picture of my wonderful and beatuiful nephew and niece, Nicholas and Angelina that I keep in my bag where I usually kept my cigarettes, all I have to do is look at that picture and smile and keep trucking.

36 hours

So I am past the 36 hour mark, so I'm half way there? Maybe.
I'm still feeling good, WAY better than I did at this point yesterday, feel like I am really going to make it. Ate a pretty good lunch, haven't been snacking, so it's all good. Been reading a lot on Joel's website whyquit.com, it's really helping a lot, every time I feel like I can't do this any longer I just read one of his articles, and I move past that craving, towards a better life for myself and everyone around me.

Day two

So far so good, I am now on day two of my smoke free existance, and feel good about it. I slept better that I thought I would last night. I was contemplating taking something to help me sleep, but I wanted to try to get through the night on my own first. It did take about an hour or so of tossing and turning, but I was able to finally shut my mind down and get to sleep and sleep through the night. This is also the last day of work for me for the week, so I'm hoping that being off schedule the rest of the week will help me through it. So far my biggest struggle has been getting to and from the train. That 2 block walk all I think about is smoking, which is weird because those were the cigarettes that I hated the most, I would rather have my gloves on and hands in my pocket than freezing my fingertips off and walking. That's what I think about to get me through. Also after I eat I feel like my stomach won't settle correctly, but deep breaths and gum seem to help. I haven't been eating more than normal, which is good, in fact I think I've been eating less since I don't feel quite right, so hopefully this will help me loose weight as well. I've been drinking a lot more water too, and lip gloss, lots and lots of lip gloss. That's all for now, I'll check back mid day.

24 hours

So I made it 24 hours smoke free. I feel really good about it and proud of my small accomplishment. I know that it is going to be one day at a time hour by hour. The best part of my day was when my collegue asked if I wanted to go outside and I firmly said "NO". Never felt so good to say those two letters. I felt empowered, and I feel like if I can do this, I can accomplish anything. Thanks again to all my facebook and Twitter friends, you made this day so much easier for me.

lunchtime

Ok so I made it through lunch, that has to be the hardest part of the day, when no matter how busy I am I go smoke, but not today. Although I really do want to smoke, I'm also proud that I made it to this point, and want to see how much longer I can go. Even though my jaw hurts from grinind my teeth, and I can barely control my left hand, I'm going to make it!

Day one

So today is day one in my experiment to finally quit smoking after 15 years, literally I have wasted half my life and most likly thousands of dollars puffing away.
I woke up this morning feeling good, finally knowing that I am off to a brand new start! I was able to drive to the train and endure a ride from hell and not really crave one all morning. But now it's 9:15, and I feel like I have a rock in the pit of my stomache and I am grinding my teeth trying to get through this. I at least hoped that I would be able to make it until noon before feeling like this. I need to think of something to reward myself if I can make it until 4:30 without smoking, maybe a nice cold beer when I get home, or a bottle of wine, whatever it takes to get my mind off things. Breath in Breath out, move on to the next task. I need something to keep my mind and hands busy.

2010

Well a new year is here and I'm going to actually start writing. My resolutions for the year are to quit smoking (starting that on Monday the 11th) while at the same time loosing some weight. I will post how I am doing with both of those throughout the year. I would like to try to post daily how I'm feeling and doing. I have been smoking for the past 15 years, and now that I'm 30, I really think it's time for me to stop. I am not going to use a patch or gum or medicition, I'm doing this all on my own out of shear will power. This is the first time that I am making a real attempt to quit, I know it's going to be hard and I'm going to be pretty moody, but I think I can do it.
My reasons, well my health, and money and all the normal stuff. The biggest reason is my nephew and niece. I don't want them to grow up seeing Auntie smoke and think it's an ok thing for them to do. I also hate stealing away time from them because I need a cigarette. My boyfriend, Mike, is going to quit with me, he is starting on Chantex, but I think I'll be ok on my own. We shall see, wish me luck!