1/4 of 100 days

I am a quarter the way through my first 100 days. I have no idea why 100 days is significant. I know that the media always take a close look at the first 100 days of a presidency, so I just decided as I was writing that these 100 days are just as important.

In being 1/4th the way there, I would take a deeper look into this journey, but 25 days doesn't seem long enough to really look into, maybe at 50 or 75 but for sure 100.
I have nothing else to write about this morning. I am back at work feeling a whole lot better than yesterday. I woke up and wasn't tempted to go back to bed. The day of rest paid off.

If I think of anything important or inspiring to talk about I'll post it later, but most likely, I'll see you tomorrow.

24 days, sick day, and LOST!

I took a sick day today, that's why I'm blogging so late. Nothing serious just a scratchy throat and stuffy nose. Figured that I'd take a day to rest and try to keep it from becoming a full blown cold, plus I've been extremely tired the past two days.


Onto Lost! Let me tell you the first episode LAX was crazy awesome! Have a couple of answers like the black smoke can't cross the white powder that's why it was surrounding the cabin, so that makes no more sense than it did before. I am very upset that I had to watch Juliet die twice in the same episode! I mean I was crying at the last scene of the recap with Sawyer yelling at her to not let go, and you do it 2 more times, Damon and Carlton, what in the world were you thinking! At least you didn't kill Charlie again, it was close, but alt timeline Charlie made it, even though he was promptly arrested and won't become the Charlie we loved on the island and will most likely OD soon, he's still alive, because if you killed Charlie again I'd have to fly on down to Hawaii and do some damage!

So basically that is my theory. If you believe in string theory, there are millions of alternative universes out there. Basically every decision that you make, there is a universe that you made the opposite choice. So now the show is dealing with two separate universes, one where the plane crashed and the bomb put them all into the current timeline, and one where the plane didn't crash and none of them ever met. I think I like it, well done Darlton! Well done!

So the quitting is going great, I feel more like myself than ever before, I just feel normal.

Day 23, Elections, and LOST!

Twenty-three days smoke free! I'm really running out of things to talk about on this subject, so I decided that after 30 days I will update on this venture weekly instead of daily.




Today is primary election day here in Illinois! I know a lot of you don't vote in primaries because you don't want to declare a party or don't think they really matter. They do matter, this is the time when you get to decide who will be in the general election. I don't want to hear anyone in the general election that didn't vote in the primary complain that they don't like any of the candidates. Now is the time to have your say. I don't care if your Democratic, Republican or independent. Although in Illinois it's pretty much a waste of time to pull an Independent party ticket, since there is usually no opposition. Me, I'm pulling a democratic ticket, I know that won't surprise anyone. I'm still undecided on who I've voting for governor, I've always liked Quinn, seems like a normal guy who pulls for the little guy, but Hynes doesn't seem so bad either. I have to do some research and most likely won't make up my mind until I'm in the booth. I support Alexi Giannoulias for senate, I've liked him since the Obama election when I first noticed him, and think he is the right person to fill Obama's seat. Cook County board is a no win election I don't like anyone, but I really don't like Stroger, so it's choosing who is the least evil out of the group. We shall see.



On a more exciting note, tonight is the premier of the final season of Lost! I can't wait to see what happened after Juliet set off the bomb last season. I have been a huge fan of the show since it premiered, so am very excited to have it back, and also sad that this is the last season. I'll try to post a recap tomorrow.

Twenty Two

I want to start this week off by tell you that Mike has now not smoked in 1 week! I am so happy that he is doing this with me!
I made it through three weeks now, and every day I feel more and more normal. I am still snippy every so often, but less than last week.
Anyway, another Monday another week back to work. I had an amazing weekend, Friday with friends, and helping my friend Gina with all of the wedding planning, so exciting! Saturday my niece Angelina's birthday and with family and yesterday I got to hang out with the kids, and then with Mike later.
He says that I am more arguementitave and preachy lately, I have to agree, but don't think that it's because of the smoking.
I have kept my mouth shut on topics like politics and religion, espically around people who do not share the same beliefs as I do, like my family and friends. I have stopped doing that. I feel more confident in my beliefs than I ever have before. I do not expect everyone or anyone for that matter to agree with me, just respect that this is my opinion, as I respect yours. Some people think that the only opinion that is correct is their own and if you don't agree you are wrong. That's not the way the world works. I have spent way too long holding back, but not anymore.
On that note, tomorrow is election day! I know that many people don't vote in the primarys, but I think it's just as important, maybe even more so, than the general election. This is the time when you get to decide who represents you and your party. I am and always have declared myself a Democrat, I have a general idea who I am voting for in the bigger races, but have to so a little more reseach on the smaller ones. I have voted in every election since I turned 18, and always look forward to casting my vote.

21 days

Somebody told me the the beginning of this journey that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Today is my 21st day of not smoking, and it's true. Smoking is no longer the first thing I think of when I get in my car, when I am stressed, and when I am bored. It no longer consumes my life. Thanks for the guidence Suzy, the first couple of weeks I kept telling myself 21 days, and I'll be ok, and I am. Next goal is 30 days, it'll be here before I know it.

20 days,

Can't believe that it has been 20 days already! Time has flown by. I really am getting used to my new life as a non smoker. I don't reach for a pack when I get into my car, I'm able to go out with Mike for dinner, and go out with my friends, and be just fine. I am even able to sit in a room with other smokers and not want to smoke. That is what happened last night, we were at my friends house and a couple of my other friends smoke, and asked me repediatly if it was alright for them to smoke around me. I kept telling them it was, and they finally did, and I was perfectly fine with it. Could have been the fact that they smoke menthol cigeretts, which I hate, and if I was going to slip up and have one, I wouldn't waste the opportunity on menthol!
Two other exciting happenings in my life.
My friend Gina is getting married in November, and asked me to stand up in her wedding last night! I can't wait and am so competely excited!
And best of all today my wonderful niece, Angelina turns 2! Happy Birthday little munchkin! I can't wait to celebrate with her tonight and again in two weeks at her bowling/puppy party. (no we are not going to bowl with or at puppies)
Oh and as a side note, Mike has quit for 5 days now. See honey I'm mentioning you because I'm proud.

Nineteen Days

Happy Friday everyone! Today is nineteen days that means if I know how to count correctly tomorrow is 20 days. I've got to tell you, I feel better and better every day. I'm in a great mood today, I mean how can I not be it's the third day in a row that the sun is out, and it's going to be all the way up to 25 this weekend, and it's Friday, and it's jeans day at work, I mean the perfect storm of wonderful things!


Seriously though, I have been exceptionally crabby and snappy (read a MAJOR bitch) since quitting, at least at home. I think it takes all of the energy that I have to be pleasant at work, especially days like yesterday, that I have no patience left when I get home. I'm trying to work on it though, any tips appreciated. I try the deep breathing, but that's usually after I snap to calm down. I need to figure out something before I give that icy glare or yell about non-important. As an example I was talking to Mike this morning on my way to the train, and he was telling me his plans for the night, and I interrupted him and yelled "Well I'm going to Target and Toys R Us as soon as I get off of work" in the meanest bitchiest way, and I have no idea why or where it came from, and why I had to just cut him off mid sentence to tell him that. I go from happy to crazy in a spit second, I think quitting smoking has given me Tourette's syndrome!

Day Eighteen, plus my take on the State of the union

Today is day 18 for me and I am proud to say day 3 for Mike, congrats Honey!



I thought that last night was going to difficult to get through after watching President Obama's speech. I was thinking about it all day, and could not wait to watch it. For those of you who don't know I've been watching the State of the Union every year since my junior year in high school. We had this amazing history/poli sci teacher, Mr. Zdun, who made our assignment Jr. year to watch President Bill Clinton give the state of the union and count how many standing O's he received. Now watching him speak was easy, he was charismatic, believable, and the first president that really cared about me and my family. He wasn't some old man who I couldn't identify with, he was roughly my parents age, and his daughter and I are close in age, so I identified with her and through her him.



I have continued to watch every year, even if I didn't support who was in the office, I felt it was important to know where our elected leader (even if I didn't vote for him) said the direction of the country was going, because it affects us all. So I sat through 8 long years of listening to Bush bully his way through congress and the American people.



There are a few point that I would like to touch on from the President's speech, and a few other things that I noticed. I don't want to argue with anyone, but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. If your opinions differ and you would like a friendly debate, please comment, but make sure you are respectful, or your comment will get deleted. I don't expect everyone or anyone to agree with me, but you respect me, I'll respect you.



One other quick note, I have voted in every election, general, primary, and special since I turned 18. The first thing I did on the morning of my 18th birthday was register to vote, and I vote democrat! There are three major ideals that I look for in a candidate: 1. Equal rights for EVERYONE including women and homosexuals. 2. Equal rights to healthcare, affordable coverage for lower or no income families, meaning everyone in the country, no matter what have access to healthcare and will not go broke and lose their house if something happens to them. 3. Women’s right to choose, this is SO important to me. Absolutely no one can tell me what to do with my body.



So now my take on the State of the Union.



The first thing I noticed, and haven't heard anyone comment on was all of the color worn on the left side of the house, and how the right looked like a bunch of Mr. Burns' going to a funeral. I even went as far as when the right stood up when the President talked about nuclear power to imagine them all tapping their fingers together saying sinisterly "excellent".



Things the republicans did not stand up for, so I can only assume they hate: Small business, clean air, college education, healthy middle class and poor people, Haiti, fighting AIDS, lowing the number of nuclear weapons, and immigrant, including the legal ones (I would take this to mean they all think they are Native American)



I can't wait until August to be out of Iraq, and for our men and women in the armed forces to finally come home, although I am not naive I do believe that many of them will end up on Afghanistan or Iran (If you watched last night, you would know that Iran is in trouble)



I liked that he took a stand and said if the jobs bill and healthcare do not meet his standards he will veto them. I would like to see him stick to that.

There was a 4 trillion deficit before he walked in the door from the Bush administration not paying for two wars, he's only added 1 trillion and has a plan to pay that back, so stop blaming him for the deficit.



Thank you Mr. President for calling out the Dems for not taking advantage of their majority in both houses, push though the bills that we believe in! Thank you for asking for partnership and for calling out the Republicans for constantly seeking election and not doing their job. Thank you for talking about all of the silly pundents, they are both on the left and right, but mostly right. They are looking for ratings, and the crazier they get, the better the ratings. Please people if you listen to Fox News all day, put on MSNBC for an hour just to hear the other side. I listen to both sides, and can't help but laugh at them all.



Promised again to eliminate don't ask don't tell, it's about damn time! The military leaders don't look happy about that. I don't understand what the problem with this is, what is the difference if a solider is straight or gay, how does that make the person less able to serve their country, especially in a time of war. Someone wants to go out to the desert and fight and defend our freedom, let them. We allow any religion or color, so why not orientation? Will someone please explain this to me!



I was wondering how he would say it, but after all of this I understand, why we may be going through a hard time and recovering from a great loss the state of our union is still good, even though he didn't say it, but I trust its in good hands.



"We don't quit, I DON'T QUIT"



Thank you President Obama for everything that you have done already and will do for the next 3 for sure, but I hope 7 more years. You will always have my support, even if I don't agree with everything (which you have yet given me something to disagree with)

Seventeen

It's been 17 days, and I feel great! Again that may have something to do with the fact that I caught a brief glimpse of the sun, in what feels like a couple of weeks. Ah... winter in Chicago, nothing like it, so cold, your thankful not to go outside to smoke anymore. I couldn't imagine starting this voyage in the summer when all I want is to get away from my desk and spend a few minutes outside. I have a feeling this summer I'll be getting Lavazza or Dunkin coffee more than Starbucks just so I can have an excuse to go outside. I need to stop thinking about summer and the warmth, because that just makes me even more sad. This has been one of the coldest weeks so far this winter, at least in my opinion. This cold wasn't bothering be as much as the lack of sun has. Besides, it's cold, don't get me wrong; it's not can't breathe, below zero cold. It's a tolerable cold, enough to want to stay inside all day and not get out of bed. I'm just happy that the only time I'm going to be outside is to and from work, not 3 - 5 times to smoke.

Sweet Sixteen

Sixteen days, I think I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Although I am still quite edgy in certain situations. I've noticed that I have a lot less patience than I did before, but I'm trying to work on it. I know that I just need to take my time and slow down and think before I react.

My teeth whitening kit came in yesterday, that's one of my rewards. Now that cigerettes are not staining my teeth I want to make them as white as possible. I went with the Go Smile system (http://www.gosmile.com/) and started it this morning. I'll let you know how it goes.

15 Days!

Made it past the two week mark, this went a lot faster that I thought it would. Every day it get easier as not smoking becomes as much a part of my life as smoking did. Had a great weekend this weekend, but it was my first two day weekend in some time, and really I don't like that at all. Everything went by too fast, from being out with my friends, to spending time with family to Sox Fest with Mike, which by the way was AWESOME! I really had a great time.


Also noticed that I am still pretty on edge and the smallest thing can set me off. Especially with Mike being a little crazy on Chantix. We got into one of the silliest arguments yesterday, I'll spare you the details, but now that I think about it with a clear head I can't help but laugh about both of our reactions. This is totally not normal for us at all, we usually don't fight, ever. I know that this is temporary as we navigate though our new way of living.

Day 14!

As of11:15 tonight, it'll be 2 full weeks that I have not smoked. This is going to be a short post today, since we are on our way to Soxfest! I feel good, and can't wait to go to games this season without missing 2 innings to smoke. Go White Sox!

Lucky 13

Today I feel the most conent about not smoking than I have in days previous, the reason: bit of a hangover. If I felt like this everyday, wouldn't want to smoke ever again. Then again in order to feel like this I would have to feel good enough to go out and drink. Had a great time last night with friends, Mike, and Mike's friends.

When I smoked and went out, obvisouly I smoked a wee bit more than I normally would, the result, or at least what I thought was the result was waking up the next morning with a sore thoat. Last night I went out, didn't smoke and still woke up with a sore throat. Smoking was not the reason, it was due to shouting accross the table in order to have a conversation with friends. The sore throat does not seem to be as bad as it was when I smoked, so I guess that smoking made it worse.

I have been asked from a few people how I have gotten to almost two weeks. I really don't think this is that big of an accomplishment, once I get to a month, I will feel like I have actually done something.  Regardless, they still want to know. The first thing I tell them  is tell everyone and hold yourself accountable, I did this by not just telling my family, close friends, and coworkers, but by announcing to the world via Facebook and Twitter, which actually ended up being an awesome resource and created an awesome support network, more than I ever thought possible.

The other tool that I use is a blog that I found by a guy named Joel at http://www.whyquit.com/. He is completely different and refeshing. He was a stop smoking counselor and ran clinics. You can watch his video's if you'd like, but read his material, it is powerful. He is not like others, he doesn't tell you it's ok if you slip up, instead at the end of all of his articles is "never take another puff". It's tough love, he says that NO it is not ok if you slip up, one puff will very soon bring you back to your old habits, you are an addict, so treat yourself like one.

Here is a little piece from his website, something I read almost daily, I hope this will also help someone else, it comes from http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_04_11_Smokers_Vow.html

"The Smokers Vow"

With this puff I enslave myself to a lifetime of addiction.

While I can’t promise to always love you, I do promise to obey every craving and support my addiction to you no matter how expensive you become.

I will let no husband or wife, no family member or friend, no doctor or any other health professional, no employer or government policy, no burns or no stench, no cough or raspy voice, no cancer or emphysema, no heart attack or stroke, no threat of loss of life or limbs, come between us.

I will smoke you forever from this day forth, for better or worse, whether richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part!

I read this over and over everyday. Along with "My cigarette, my friend" http://whyquit.com/whyquit/joelcigfriend.html
It's pretty powerful and puts things in perspective real quick.

So that is what has helped me. Any former smokers out there, let me know your story.

Day twelve, smokers alley

I'm onto day twelve. The hardest part continues to be walking to and from work. You see I take the blue line and get off at Washington and work on LaSalle. The quickest way to get to my building is to cut down a couple of allys, that is also the only place that people downtown can smoke since the smokingn ban laws. So I walk past about 20-50 smokers each way in a two block strech. I am tempted each and every day to ask someone for one. Now the simple and obvious solution would be to just simply not walk through the ally. Going around would, however, add another two blocks to my walk, and while I could use the extra exercise, it's Chicago, and it's Janurary, it's just too damn cold to do that! So I will continue to cut through smokers alley, and fight the tempentation. It builds character, right?

Day Eleven

Wow, I can't belive that 10 full days went by this fast. I am already getting used to my new life. Getting to work was a bit easier this morning, no reaching in the purse, no wrong turns. I did have to get gas and the guy at my station brought me a pack, and I had to tell him no and I'm quitting, so just need gas this morning. Which struck up a conversation while he was pumping my gas, which was a nice way to start the day. I usually don't like talking to people first thing in the morning, but didn't mind too much today. The one thing that did bother me was the girl in the seat in front of me on the El had REALLY long hair and kept putting it over her seat and it was all lover my newspaper. I was SO tempted to pull it or tell her to move her hair, because it's disgusting, but I kept my mouth shut, and just kept swatting at her when I turned the pages. I know passive/agressive, but it was really gross.

10 Days

I've made it to the double digit in days! I don't know what it is, but getting to work seems to be the hardest part. I am ok with driving any other time, but this morning I got to my car started it and reached in my purse for a cigerette without even thinking, it took me a few seconds to realize that I don't have any and won't have any anymore. I guess it's just too early to really think clearly and rely on my old habits too much. After all i have been smoking since before I started full time in the real world, so it will be a hard habit to break, but not as hard as the first week of quitting was.

Day Nine

Made it to day nine. Today is my first day back to work since last Tuesday. Getting back into a routine is not that easy. Driving to the train seems crazily difficult today. First there was a kitten that darted under my car as soon as the light I was at turned green, so I had to wait, while people were beeping at me to go until I saw the cat was safely out from under my vehicle. Then I almost turned onto the wrong street, and barely made it to the train before the doors closed. Didn't get my normal seat, basically my day has just started off completely well... off. I need to get back to a routine, and alter it enough so that I don't think about smoking. Having the time away for my first week really helped in breaking routine, but now it's time to get back.

Day 8
Made it past and through the one week mark! The journey is not over yet, it will be when I am able to get through a full day without thinking about smoking. A wise person (Suzy) told me that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, so if that's true, I'm a third of the way there!

It's been one week!

What a difference a week makes, it has officially been one week since I last smoked! I made it, and now I jst have to keep going with my new life. I think the hard part is over. I have gone out drinking with friends, I went out to dinner with Mike, I've done it all, and didn't smoke. One last test before going back to work, is going shopping and driving in the car with my parents tomorrow, if I can do that I can do anything. I still want to smoke I just consistantly make the decision not to. Again, thank you everyone for the support, I would not have made it this far without all of you.

Day 7

Made it through to day 7, if I can make it until 11:15 tonight, then I will have made it one week without smoking. I am feeling a lot better every day that goes by. It's still hard, I miss it most while driving. Thankfully during the week I'm not in my car too long, just to and from the train. This weekend I put on a few miles, but the gum and holding something in my hand and talking on the phone seem to at least take my mind off of it.